GOD’S PETTING YOU is a new crime-comedy movie premiering at Fantaspoa 2022. It’s a dark comedy with lots of quick dialogue. To be completely honest, it has me a bit torn. I liked parts of it, while I could very easily have done without other parts. Read our full God’s Petting You movie review here!

GOD’S PETTING YOU is a new British movie premiering at the film festival Fantaspoa 2022 in Portugal. It’s a crime comedy, which means it’s a little less crazy (and a lot less violent and bloody) than a horror comedy. Since I tend to love horror comedies, it doesn’t quite hit that proverbial sweet spot for me.

Basically, this movie is a dark comedy with some violence and a lot of dialogue. And yes, I do also feel there is too much dialogue. Actually, strike that. There is rarely such a thing as too much dialogue if it’s delivered right. And in this crime-comedy, it is delivered superbly by a wonderful cast.

Continue reading our God’s Petting You movie review below.

Alice Lowe in a small key role

One of the reasons I was excited about watching this movie, for its Fantaspoa 2022 premiere, was the fact that Alice Lowe was in it. This actor and filmmaker is absolutely brilliant and if you don’t know her already, then be sure to check out Prevenge (2016). A movie she wrote, directed and starred in. Also, you might recognize her from the Black Mirror movie Bandersnatch or Hot Fuzz (2007).

In God’s Petting You, Alice Lowe plays a smaller role, but she is in the movie almost from beginning to end. Just in an on/off way, since she’s the person being told the story that we actually see play out. She’s wonderful as always, but so is everyone else.

The main protagonist of Charlie is played by George Webster (Finding Alice). He’s a heroin addict – though he never shoots up and only smokes it, which he clearly thinks makes it much better. He’s also the one explaining the title when he says that someone once explained the feeling of heroin as being as if “God’s petting you”.

The story that plays out in this crime-comedy is his. And he’s also telling it himself, so keep that in mind.

God's Petting You – Review | Crime | Fantaspoa 2022

Scenes that go on forever!

The problem is that the scenes tend to run for too long. Way too long. Maybe it was shot during the lockdown and it was easier. Watching it now, it feels like some sort of strange TV series shot as “minisodes” that each has to stay in one location for the duration. For a movie with a runtime of just around 90 minutes, it feels much longer.

Probably because I sometimes felt trapped in a scene that dragged on for 10-15 minutes. Or so I think because I refused to keep looking at the time.

Okay, to be completely fair, it wasn’t a bad movie. Which I realize the above makes it sound like it was. It had so much going for it and that’s probably why I get annoyed. The premise is there and I know this writer-director can do better. So why is this the final result?! That’s probably what I was left thinking when the end credits came.

And it’s also why I feel a bit torn. I liked parts of God’s Petting Me, while I could very easily have done without many other parts.

Also, I did not care for many of the final “plot twists”. It feels over-used and tired already. To me, anyway, but maybe I’ve just seen this “shock twist” one time too many in recent months. And I still don’t buy it most of the time.

God’s Petting You premiered at Fantaspoa 2022

Jamie Patterson is the writer and director of God’s Petting You. This was another huge reason why we wanted to check out this film for Fantaspoa 2022. We recently reviewed his previous movie The Kindred (2021) which we enjoyed. That one was closer to getting four out of five stars while this one was dangerously close to getting just two!


Our review of Jamie Patterson’s movie The Kindred here >

Of course, Jamie Patterson didn’t write The Kindred and maybe that’s the big difference. With some directors, I absolutely prefer their work when it’s based on screenplays, they’ve written themselves. For other directors, they just seem to do work I enjoy more when it’s based on a screenplay written by someone else.

Whether Jamie Patterson falls in the first or last category remains to be seen. Right now it looks like the latter, but it’s clearly too soon to tell based on just these two movies.

And I do still very much recommend watching God’s Petting You. However, you need to be ready for a rather slow and dialogue-heavy movie. Fortunately, it’s also laced with intriguing (and often fascinating) characters. Including someone working in adult films and moonlighting as an escort. A man with a rather umm impressive appearance.

God’s Petting You was screened as part of Fantaspoa 2022. For more information on the festival, please visit www.fantaspoa.com.



Director: Jamie Patterson
Writer: Jamie Patterson
Stars: George Webster, Skye Lourie, Alice Lowe, April Pearson, Joe Wilkinson, Joss Porter, Chris Willoughby, Patrick Bergin


Charlie’s a drug addict. He meets a woman. She’s a sex addict. What could go wrong?

I write reviews and recaps on Heaven of Horror. And yes, it does happen that I find myself screaming, when watching a good horror movie. I love psychological horror, survival horror and kick-ass women. Also, I have a huge soft spot for a good horror-comedy. Oh yeah, and I absolutely HATE when animals are harmed in movies, so I will immediately think less of any movie, where animals are harmed for entertainment (even if the animals are just really good actors). Fortunately, horror doesn't use this nearly as much as comedy. And people assume horror lovers are the messed up ones. Go figure!
Karina "ScreamQueen" Adelgaard
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