Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 – Netflix Review (2/5)

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2022 on Netflix is yet another “requel” of an iconic horror franchise. This time, the result is messy and not in the least scary. It’s just plain disappointing. Read our full Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 movie review!

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2022 is a new Netflix horror movie. And yes, it’s yet another “requel” (reboot-sequel hybrid) of an iconic horror movie franchise. Admittedly, this sounded like a good idea. I mean, it has worked remarkably well for both Halloween and Scream. Unfortunately, third time is not the charm here!

The best thing about this horror requel is the fact that it only has a runtime of 1 hour and 23 minutes. And sure, you can try to watch it as a “kitsch and fun” revisit. But really, the story is just rather silly and the whole “original final girl returns” is all marketing and not one bit of truth.

For the record, when you do watch (and, of course, every horror fan will), be sure to stick around for the post-credit scene at the very end. It would appear that it’s there to give us hope for yet another movie in the franchise. If that’s the case, my hope is that it will be better!

Continue reading our Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 movie review below and check it out on Netflix now.

It’s just plain sad and wrong

For me, expectations were initially rather optimistic due to the involvement of horror director Fede Alvarez. While he isn’t the director of this movie, he is a producer and one of the people behind the story “idea”. Well, if this was the big idea he had for a requel, then it’s just plain sad.

I have to believe the intentions for this Texas Chainsaw Massacre requel were better than what the final result shows. In fact, that must be the case. Even press material reveals details that did not make it to the final cut of the movie. Much is clearly left on the proverbial cutting room floor.

The core plot is very simple (if I’m to avoid calling it downright dumb). Just the fact that the original final girl is involved in the plot, does not work. Forget all about the tough Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) from the Halloween franchise. I mean, she was severely traumatized but managed to act when the chance came.

Without giving away concrete spoilers, I can say that the exact opposite is the case with Sally Hardesty in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre of 2022. Also, it feels wrong to take the whole “return to the original final girl”-road, when the actor from the original movie can’t participate. Marilyn Burns passed away in August of 2014.

The Halloween requel franchise and the new Scream movie would never have worked as well if Laurie Strode or Sidney Prescott had suddenly been portrayed by new actors.

The original final girl but not really

Unlike the abovementioned Halloween and Scream movies that have pulled in the original cast member while building the movie around a new generation, Texas Chainsaw Massacre features an all new core cast. All while pretending to do the whole “original final girl” Sally Hardesty, but by way of a new actor.

After all, it’s not like Marilyn Burns (the original Sally Hardesty) passed away during production. Instead, the decision to “go back to the roots” was made knowing full-well that the roots were no longer here. Instead, Olwen Fouéré (Mandy) is now portraying Sally Harvesty.

Does she manage to pull this off?! Well, it’s a very poorly written story with even worse character arcs, so I really can’t answer that. The overall result certainly is not good. It just has nothing to do with the actors, who are caught in a true nightmare. And not the entertaining kind.

The new cast of this old franchise

The two new primary characters of the new generation are portrayed by Sarah Yarkin (Happy Death Day 2U) and Elise Fisher (Eight Grade, Castle Rock season 2). The two play sisters and both do well – particularly Sarah Yarkin – but it can’t save much.

Even the basic premise of how the two sisters (and many others) arrive in the ghost town that is Harlow, Texas, is downright silly. As is the story of where Leatherface has been “hiding” for 50 years. The official plot is a somewhat alternative way of describing the actual plot of this movie.

Also, the same damn “surprise twist” is utilized a whopping three times. It’s too much the first time around, and just ridiculous by the third time in such a short runtime. Yet another lazy detail.

For the record, the original Leatherface actor, Gunnar Hansen, is no longer among us either. He passed away in November of 2015. This time around, Mark Burnham portrays the chainsaw-wielding mass murderer. He definitely has the size and stature to pull off this performance. Also, we don’t see his face (much!), so it works.

You can watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 on Netflix now!

David Blue Garcia is the director of this movie, which is only his second feature film. He took over after the initial directors, brothers Ryan and Andy Tohill left during the first week of production in Bulgaria. The screenplay is written by Chris Thomas Devlin, who gets his writing debut here.

Of course, credit is also given to Kim Henkel and Tobe Hooper for coming up with the characters originally. Also, as mentioned earlier, the script is written based on a story by Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues. The two worked on Evil Dead (2013), Don’t Breathe (2016), and Don’t Breathe 2 (2021) together.

I find it more funny (in a sad way) than remotely scary. There’s even a scene where Leatherface leaps in a way that makes it look like he trained at SeaWorld.

To be fair, though I initially stated that the short runtime is one of its saving graces, it might also be the main issue. The story is rushed and we never really get to know these characters, which could (possibly!) have improved the overall experience.

There’s a reason why Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022 won’t be playing in theaters as originally planned. It’s the same reason that reviews are embargoed until one minute after its release on Netflix. Mainly because it just is not good.

It won’t matter though, because obviously, you need to watch it. Just to get the latest (but probably not final) chapter about Leatherface. However, your time would be better spent watching the 2019 prequel Leatherface or the 2003 reboot. Or by going back to the 1974 original, of course.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is out on Netflix from February 18, 2022.

Details

Director: David Blue Garcia
Writer: Chris Thomas Devlin
Cast: Elsie Fisher, Sarah Yarkin, Mark Burnham, Moe Dunford, Olwen Fouéré, Alice Krige, Jacob Latimore, Nell Hudson, Jessica Allain, Sam Douglas, William Hope, Jolyon Coy